As those of you who stutter will know, it’s always nice to hear some positive encouragement regarding our speech. Many people in everyday life receive praise for speeches/presentations/toasts, brush it off and never think of it again. Yet, for those of us to struggle with stuttering, such praise is always a lot more meaningful.

A McGuire Graduate, Adam, recently posted to our internal discussion list regarding one such experience. Eighteen months into the programme, he had met a lawyer in private practice. Fifteen months later, he met the same lawyer and after speaking with him for some time, the lawyer remarked;

“Last time we talked, your speech was so bad I was seriously worried [about your ability to practice]. Today, I wasn’t sure I recognised you.”

Adam has worked tirelessly at his speech since he joined the Programme two and a half years ago and is continuing to reap the rewards for his efforts.

here are some of my experiences over the holidays that maybe some of you can
relate to…

.. it was my first ‘real’ Christmas in decades complete with a house full
of relatives including young kids, Christmas tree, outdoor lights, parties,
etc. and was quite a change to my usual holiday routine (mr. Grinch,
scrooge, bah humbug). The newness of this made it even more challenging.

.. everything mentioned in the below email proved accurate, but I didn’t
expect the intensity. it was very much like surfing a huge wave, white water
rafting, skiing a steep mogul run, sky diving, combat firefight, etc. very
difficult to focus on technique, or get in that important practice/warm-up
time … just had to go with it and do my best.

… being aware of the dynamics and complications indeed helped as did
going into the (several day) situation having done extra work to toughen my
discipline beforehand resulted in reasonably good speech. not perfect, but
much better than had I entered this challenge with complacency. Such a
challenge requires much respect for the difficulty.

One of the highlights was at the big Christmas party of my fluent speaking
buddy, George, where he finally started helping me cancel when I would first
start being sloppy rather than waiting hours or the next day to say
anything. he’s learning!!

I’m now back into my pre holiday routine of morning warm-up calls with our
little group of serious grads, practice contacts, etc. and once again feel
very confident and proud of the way I speak. Now to lose those ten pounds
from the undisciplined holiday eating and drinking .

dave

Here is a post sent to our international discussion group about why the holidays can result in more than usual stuttering blocks (aka ‘turbulence’) and what to do about it.

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(Sent Dec 20th, 2008. ” Happy Holidays, but watch out for turbulence …”)

I thought it would be good to remind everyone that this can be a tough time
of year for our speech. It seems to be full of many dynamics that can cause
turbulence and a trip to the swamp. Here’s a few things I spotted in my own
life as Christmas approaches:

… many more approach avoidance conflicts like what presents to buy, who to
buy for, who to invite, who’s invitations to accept, etc. Remember that
approach avoidance in one part of your life can lead to the old ‘fear of
stammering/desire to be fluent’ conflict.

… frequent social gatherings/parties which usually involves drinking
resulting many times in sloppy spontaneous, and not feeling like working on
speech the next day.

… this can be a very busy time of year cutting down on time and energy
available for practice.

… with busyness comes rushing which makes it difficult to resist time
pressure.

… with more social interactions, there’s more of a chance that certain
ones (introductions to strangers at parties, etc.) will be more difficult at
a time when we’re more vulnerable resulting in blocking and loss of
confidence.

… desire to spend vs. fear of the coming bad economic times (needing to
save).

… for people like myself who put on weight easily, it is difficult to stay
disciplined with a diet. poor discipline in one area can lead to poor
discipline in our speech. Putting on ten pounds during these holidays and
being back in the swamp is not good for the old hexagon.

 What to do? Most important for me is to just realize the above dynamics and
that this time of year is a tough challenge for my speech, and to not just
‘let it go’ because it’s holidays. Next is to make those warm up calls every
morning to drill the mentality and technique and to remind myself during the
day to show people I’m working on my speech and explain to my close friends
that this is a rough time and ask their help to let me know if they see/hear
me being sloppy.

Hope this helps, and hope you all have a great Christmas and prosperous,
happy, healthy, disciplined, New Year where you start doing more of those
things to realize your potential.

cheers,

dave

I many times hear from those of us working to get on top of our feared words (words that trigger the stuttering block) “why do we have to make over a hundred contacts”? We know this in the McGuire Programme as “overkilling the word or sound”.

Being a beginning golfer, I experience the same thing mostly on a golf course called “Glen Annie” here in Santa Barbara. Substitute ‘feared word’ for ‘feared club’ and you got the picture. Because of the difficult fairways at Glen Annie, where the slightest slice or hook puts you in unplayable rough, i very seldom finish the course thinking “Wow, that was a great round of golf”. On the contrary, most times my thoughts are of giving up this lousy sport and putting that time into my tennis. Psychologically, Glen Annie is tough because of it’s ability to trigger frustration, self-doubt, and confusion all of which creates a downward spin.

One dynamic is my confidence in using certain clubs (usually the ones that put me in the rough, duffed the ball, etc.) takes a big nose dive resulting in reluctance to use that club in the future. Right now it’s my formerly trusty 5 wood. Avoidance. Oh yeah. And if I don’t do something about it, that fear of the the 5 wood will, ahem, “metastisize” to other clubs.

Sounding familiar? Let me spell out the comparisons:

Golf/stammering comparison #1:

Glen Annie = That tough situation full of confusing dynamics resulting in approach avoidance conflicts resulting in some stuttering blocks (chunked, sliced, hooked, skulled shots), resulting in the cycle of panic/frustration, resulting in even more blocks and loss of confidence.

Golf/stammering comparison #2

5 wood, 7 iron, etc. = The word that became charged with fear because it fell apart because of the tough situation.

Golf/ stuttering comparison #3:

Loss of confidence on one course will lead to loss of confidence playing on another course = Loss of confidence in one speaking situation (where stuttering/ stammering blocks went out of control) leads to loss of confidence in all situations.

Golf/ stuttering comparison #4:

Loss of confidence in a few clubs will lead to loss of confidence in all clubs including putting (and golf in general) = Loss of confidence in saying certain words will lead (metastisize) to loss of confidence in all words (and speaking in general).

Dave McGuire