Why was it so hard to get the words out?
A very inspirational and emotional story from Puja Pietarila who did her Refresher Course (her 02. McGuire Course) in Berlin last October! Well done Puja, your presence and positive attitude brings energy to our courses and to the programme in Germany. Thank you for sharing and thank you for joining The McGuire Programme Please read and share!
After my second intensive McGuire course in Berlin, Germany, I feel energetic, gratitude, normal, loved, inspired.
I’ve been stuttering since I was around 7. I’m now 36 years old, mother of 2 girls: aged 8 and 6. Just to get it straight, none of my family members stutter, neither my siblings nor my parents. At school, I dreaded raising my hand to answer questions or give comments. I would rather take the beating. Reading English text aloud in the classroom was one of my biggest fears. Oh! Why was it so hard to get the words out? Why couldn’t I read fluently without blocks like when reading aloud to myself? I didn't understand. I was lucky to have had great (girl) friends who never teased me during my school days. I studied in a boarding school for 9 years in Pokhara, Nepal.
Fast-forward - after working for 13 years in Finland as a software engineer, I quit my job last April. I really wanted to integrate my software experience with my business studies. But every time when some job description (non software related) excited me, one concern always remained - Can I speak?
I had heard of McGuire programme already back in 2000 when I was studying in Australia. Well, after watching how people spoke on the street, I was in denial. My stutter didn’t seem so bad like the ones in the programme! The thought of joining the programme didn’t cross my mind then.
Recently, one day I caught myself telling my husband - “I would do anything if I knew there was a chance and I really wanted it”. Then, at that moment I realised, how I was living in denial. I have had this stutter and hadn’t done much for it. It was even becoming a hinderance to my future job. Now, enough was enough. I was ready to face my challenge and take action. After all, I was doing it for MYSELF and not to someone else. So I started to google “McGuire Programme”. I also had another motivation to join the Programme. I was interviewed by a startup company for technical salesperson position.
Back then (around May - June) I really wanted that job. Coincidentally, during that time, I had also come up with a startup idea. To pitch my idea, I knew I had to speak with many people.
I am so glad that I contacted Emmet O’Connell. After knowing that the Programme will let me SAY what I WANTED to say without using tricks or filler words, I signed up. Finally, I was ready to let go of my shame and fear. Of course, I wasn’t sure what I was getting into but it felt so right!
My first intensive McGuire course in Dusseldorf, Germany last June has changed me in so many ways. It’s just been 4 months, but during this time many new exciting things have happened. I am now enrolled in Startup Program in Tampere, Finland and given 3 speeches in Toastmasters. I’ve made many phone calls and have had meetings with investors and prospect customers. McGuire Programme helped break down the walls I had built around me. I am so thankful to the coaches who gave me their time to speak with me. Especially, I would like to thank my primary coach, Bart van den Berg. Mary Moorehead (Ireland), thank you for being there when I was let down and for your presence. You are always wonderful to talk to.
“Anything that is usually a means to an end, make it into an end in itself.” - Eckhart Tolle. “The Power of Now”, book by Eckhart Tolle has helped me understand the deeper meaning of life and is helping me tackle the psychological factors of my stutter. In my opinion, it complements McGuire teachings perfectly. I highly recommend you to read this book, if you haven’t already. Anyone, including those who don’t have a stutter can learn to live in presence by reading this book.
In my second course in Berlin, I noticed some changes in myself. I was no longer asking questions like in my first course. I was comfortable practising deliberate dysfluency. I was thankful that I had decided to join the program in my “make up mind” session in Dusseldorf. I was inspired to see improvements of returning graduates. As a bonus, the number of Facebook friends jumped after the Berlin course :) Emmet, it is really a great experience to take the class from someone who is so passionate about what he does! Thank you once again for the great course and the effort you put in.
Let us not get wrapped up in our own life situations. Let us not compare ourselves with others. Remember that “if ego can’t be the best it wants to be the worst” (Eckhart Tolle). So let us try to live aligned with our inner presence and practice McGuire techniques :) There will be ups and downs but if the anchor is in the right place, we won’t get lost...